Sunshine or Shade? (Or is it how us women are made?)

It’s everywhere at the moment. We’re questioning the irresponsibility of super-optimistic thinking like never before. I guess this is all because it’s cost us money recently. We’re blaming reckless consumption and the ‘because we’re worth it’ trend of super-selfindulgence for the near collapse of the banking system, the demise of our overheating planet, and stuff like that. And, to a greater or lesser extent, the examination’s been long overdue.

So last week when I attended a debate at the RSA chaired by Julian Thompson about whether a strongly optimistic outlook is the key to a resilient, productive society, it was interesting to gauge public perception. Five years ago this would have been a no-brainer; obviously optimists are great people, and the only success icons. Back then was the age of Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret which sold like hot cakes. Millions enjoyed it ,believing just to read the text would open the floodgates of plenty. It was marketed right at peak of the super-positive thinking boom, a la tulip mania.

On the side of the ‘pro’ for this lunchtime event was Laurence Shorter, comic and author of the The Optimist. On the panel of self-confessed, 'apologetic' pessimists were two highly accomplished and perceptive writers Ariel Leve and Lucy Mangan.

At one point Lucy—almost as an aside—suggested that maybe being a pessimist was a woman’s thing.

And I believe she’s right. This is why motivational advice for women is different to the positive power patter that is dished out to men. Our responses to stimuli are rated on another scale. Our physical survival depends on it. According to Barbara Wilding FRSA, ex Chief Constable of South Wales Police, ‘women have an instinct about what makes people safer’. An awareness of danger, whether or not you or your offspring should walk a dark country lane alone after midnight, is a by-product of sensible distrust. But more importantly, as empathisers, which women tend to be – we are more in tune with pessimism. How can you sense someone’s pain if you can’t visualise it? Or comfort using impassive, automated-responses ‘she’ll be right, mate!’. Compassion and cheery platitudes are obviously incompatible.

Could it be that we don’t actually like our women, our mothers, our confidantes to be too optimistic all the time?

In a society where an optimist conjures up ‘sunny and encouraging’ and pessimist ‘depressing and negative’, there is a huge guilt attached to being in the latter camp. I also sense fn intellectual snobbery; optimistic people are perceived brainless sales persons, and disingenuous; pessimistic people more learned, more philosophical, not so 'in your face'.

The complexities of womanhood demand we switch roles constantly; optimist, pessimist, optimist, pessimist …whoops, sorry, optimist, optimist, pessimist, optimist. And at a moment’s notice. But that’s the way women are wonderfully made. It’s a natural, and therefore, successful pattern. There’s a time to shine; a time to shelter. The art, I believe, is in developing an ability to present the right application of gloss or shade at the appropriate time.

To hear a transcript of the event