Motivation For Women (with Stars and Stripes)

Download to iTunes. Louise Burfitt-Dons gives ten tips for women to remotivate and encourage them. 4 minutes 28 seconds. http://www.louiseburfittdons.com/mp3s/US_Motivation_for_Women.mp3

Encouragement of Spring

I remember as a child that around this time we would often receive 'spring' cards - approaching Easter. They seemed to add so much with such a simple image. Just a daffodil head, bright yellow and full of promise! What a strong emotion, so homely, caring and selfless.

Have you noticed in the twilights of the early Spring –
A faint blue light sheds beauty over every living thing
The leafless trees that wait the signal of the warmer days
Are caught up in the nameless magic of this drifting haze?
No matter how the icy winds of March come howling round
I know that life is stirring in the dark and frozen ground
I’ve seen the blue light in the streets and in the distant hills
And soon my little garden will be gay with daffodils.
Patience Strong

Unique Inspiration

It was an early, frosty start for me this morning. My younger daughter had been chosen to compete for her RAF cadets—and we had to make the bus by seven. Early, we watched other teenagers arriving with their creased and starched uniform trousers on hangers, shiny boots in hand. ‘I really love the RAF,' she said unprompted, 'It’s different to school. Everyone’s respectful. They’re all there for the same reason. You can really be yourself.’ We supposed it was something to do with 'the rules were known', parameters drawn, the formality, marching, timekeeping. A combined sense of purpose; pride in being part of a disciplined group that ironed and polished, not just partied. ‘Everyone’s so different,’ she said. The only thing that set one apart from the other was their personality, their individuality. I thought, yes, it's nice to show off who you really are and still have people like you for it.

In a woman’s world, grown-ups, its completely different, isn’t it. What are the rules? What is considered ‘right’? Stay at home, or go to work? Get married or not. Have children? When? How to dress? What age is the right one? Too young for this, or too old for that? Twenty or sixty? What size is ok? Coy or forward, mousey or brassy, liberal or strict? In other words how do we avoid that conflict of disapproval?

That’s where the secret of motivation for women lies. Not one woman’s life is the same as another, and yet we seek to copy if only to gain approval and encouragement, to get along, group up well, avoid getting it wrong. It's understandable, and in many ways admirable. If there is a 'kit' then we will wear it. No one really likes a radical, upsetting things, making the place untidy. But, problem is, as women, there isn't one set style, one colour suits all.

No. I believe every woman has a unique purpose, often challenging, and always changing. Step back from the throng, think; ‘what am I doing today which is unique , which is unexpected, which is inspiring?’ The answer will come to you, and you alone.

ACT!

A lot of the best motivational and encouragement advice I have gathered has been from sports coaches. The reason for this is because it is not just ‘pie in the sky’ style of wishful thinking but based on hard research - evidence of how human beings operate under stress.

For example if a footballer gets into a habit of missing his penalty kicks then it takes mental work and visualisation techniques to recover his or her confidence.

I was reminded of another valuable fact the other day when my daughter came in from lacrosse practice. Her coach had taught her about ‘make or break’ people in a team. In other words, come on the pitch with a smile and a confident attitude you are as 'maker' and the whole team will respond. If you slouch on to the field muttering 'Oh my God, have you seen the size of them?' you are a 'breaker'. And it’s true to say that in group tactics negativity can spread almost instantly and destroy morale. Much, much quicker than positively.

So why do so many women use 'breaker' tactics? And often. Even in situations where they should be confident? Usually because they are inhibited by the outcome. 'What if we lose when we have been swaggering about' attitude. Understood, no one wants to be humiliated by defeat and be seen to be 'overconfident'. One thing remains true though, in situations where you cannot determine with certainly the final result - where it is out of your control - then you might as well be a 'maker'. You have then at least got some chance of encouraging others to do their best, play well, achieve their potential.

Of course there is a time to voice your fears – definitely- and that is when lives are in peril (read my speech on You Can’t Fight City Hall) but there are other times when you can change your's and other's behaviour dramatically for the better using positive attitude.

All very well, you say. But how do you actually pull that off when you are racked with fear and insecurity and it is telling all over your face. Mother's anxst, for example.

You pretend to yourself you are reading from a script. Yes. That's all you do. You make believe. You invent. You ACT!