ACT!

A lot of the best motivational and encouragement advice I have gathered has been from sports coaches. The reason for this is because it is not just ‘pie in the sky’ style of wishful thinking but based on hard research - evidence of how human beings operate under stress.

For example if a footballer gets into a habit of missing his penalty kicks then it takes mental work and visualisation techniques to recover his or her confidence.

I was reminded of another valuable fact the other day when my daughter came in from lacrosse practice. Her coach had taught her about ‘make or break’ people in a team. In other words, come on the pitch with a smile and a confident attitude you are as 'maker' and the whole team will respond. If you slouch on to the field muttering 'Oh my God, have you seen the size of them?' you are a 'breaker'. And it’s true to say that in group tactics negativity can spread almost instantly and destroy morale. Much, much quicker than positively.

So why do so many women use 'breaker' tactics? And often. Even in situations where they should be confident? Usually because they are inhibited by the outcome. 'What if we lose when we have been swaggering about' attitude. Understood, no one wants to be humiliated by defeat and be seen to be 'overconfident'. One thing remains true though, in situations where you cannot determine with certainly the final result - where it is out of your control - then you might as well be a 'maker'. You have then at least got some chance of encouraging others to do their best, play well, achieve their potential.

Of course there is a time to voice your fears – definitely- and that is when lives are in peril (read my speech on You Can’t Fight City Hall) but there are other times when you can change your's and other's behaviour dramatically for the better using positive attitude.

All very well, you say. But how do you actually pull that off when you are racked with fear and insecurity and it is telling all over your face. Mother's anxst, for example.

You pretend to yourself you are reading from a script. Yes. That's all you do. You make believe. You invent. You ACT!